My Grandma

I don't call my grandma grandma. Rather, she has had the distinct honor of having her very own special title. Ita. I can't write any further without crying.

All that needs to be known is that I love her very much.

The World I Know

Saw a homeless man on the train today. Or a man really down on his luck. It was the A train cars in which the seats are orange and are set up in clusters of 3 seats running along the walls of the train and in between every 3 seat cluster is a pair of seats that segment the two clusters. The man in a dirty white t-shit and jeans was laying on across a 3 seat bench. He had a pretty thick scraggly beard and his eyes were open. staring across and probably slightly above by where his head was laying.

I felt an incredible sense of sadness when I saw him. It really hit me hard. Because it was the A train I didn't have many stops to wade through before reaching 14th and 8th avenue from 42nd street. He looked cold since he was hugging himself. In that moment I recalled that the weather is headed to fall and winter. I wondered where this man is going to be or doing to stay warm. I wanted to do something and all I did was get off the train where I would transfer to the L train.

I did nothing. I've been deceived by various people so I can use that as an excuse not to have helped that man but I'm not. I can also argue that one has to take care of themselves before taking care of others. I dunno. I'm just reflecting now.

I learned to despise the movie Pay It Forward but, the thing is that the message of movie had some worth to it. The whole idea of doing a good deed for someone and simply instructing them to go and do a good deed for someone else. I should have done that today.

Damn. Perhaps I'm learning that it is true that the best songs are the saddest songs. What inspires a sad song?

To be cliche, this is the world I know.

Streamlining Mi Vida

So I've begun to separate my CDs and booklets from the CD cases. I'm purging my room of all my CD cases. All CDs and booklets will be placed in large binders from now on. It makes me sad but to live in Brooklyn with a lot of stuff is damn near impossible unless I sell out and go into a higher paying career field where I can afford to pay 2,000 plus bucks in rent for an apartment.

Money is tight and tight money translates into tight living spaces. Damn all the out of state hipsters who have cause the rent to skyrocket. Damn.

Oh yeah, back to school!

First day back with the kids. Twas good. Twas interesting. Felt like a real teacher today like I'm now making the big bucks with multi million bucks contract. Listening to Dead Kennedys and Ramones tracks in the background. It was cool to see my DEAT kids. So weird... I advised them for two years and now they're juniors.

Someday this pain will be useful to you

Just finished reading the book that I wrote in the title. First work I'm reading by Peter Cameron. It was a nice pick up read but it seemed to not go anywhere. I've been told it's like The Catcher in the Rye but I no longer see Salinger's books as I once did. Rich kids that are not happy with their lives seems more like petty spoiled brats than insightful literary tales. It's just out there for me. It's just so cliche nowadays.

Lame = rich, white kids.

Don't get me wrong. The voice of the protagonist was smooth and the chapters draw you into the world and point of view of his novel but knowing it's about a wealthy Brown University bound 18 year old that lives in posh Manhattan seems too much of a stretch. I've been down this particular road.

Uh oh!

And so tomorrow I begin my fourth year of teaching. Fourth year!!! I'm astounded and blown away at this. Feels like yesterday was 2007 at Far Rock. Total fucking warzone of issues. They make dramatic high school themed movies with what I went through and now I stand at year four. Incredible. I'm stoked. I'm nervously trying to play this cool but... but...Mmmmmmh, ya see, it's year four. Back for tenure again.

Been a while...

It's been a while... Anyone remember that song by Staind? I enjoyed a few songs of their debut but then they went soft. Ah well.

Been sometime since I posted and truth be told, I'm only posting because I just put the battery back into my phone because it's acting up and I'm waiting for it to load up. I just looked at the screen right before starting this sentence.

New things in my life: desk, bed, dresser. Thank you Mmmeli

Back to work this coming Tuesday. Teaching 11th grade and a creative writing elective for seniors. Should be fun times.

I'm slightly paranoid and I got some spray to spray and hopefully the paranoia will cease and return to the storage warehouse in the recesses of my mind.

Pretty much it.