Things

I saw Gaslight Anthem play Radio City Music Hall on September 30th. It was amazing even though I got there a bit late with Melissa, whom I'm absolutely head over heels in love with.

I saw Bad Religion play Irving Plaza on October 27th by myself. Right before I learned my grandma, Ita's cancer had taken a turn for the worse. I went and danced, pogoed all over the place. I sweated up a storm and nearly cried during the song "Sorrow." I get choked up thinking about it. It was truly an intimate experience. Afterwards, I was drenched in sweat, exhausted and I didn't even care. It felt great and was great.

Grad school is tough. So it goes.

This past weekend, I went back to New Paltz. They have a Kennedy Fried Chicken now. It's so weird. The ghetto Kentucky Fried Chicken has found a niche in upstate New York and it's quite popular too! So amazing but I've realized the New Paltz lifestyle is not my lifestyle anymore. Time to move on to the next stage of my life.

I've begun to talk again with my friend, Jeremie Arthur. We were close in high school and have been chatting again. It's good and I'm glad this is happening. A person needs someone who gives good advice and can put the world in perspective.

Today, I realized teaching has become very political and arbitrary and less about the teaching. I'm teaching 11th graders and they are the future. Some of whom I've known since they entered the CTEA as freshmen. It's so weird to think I have been charged with teaching them some great literary classics. As well, teaching them about life.

My Grandma

I don't call my grandma grandma. Rather, she has had the distinct honor of having her very own special title. Ita. I can't write any further without crying.

All that needs to be known is that I love her very much.

The World I Know

Saw a homeless man on the train today. Or a man really down on his luck. It was the A train cars in which the seats are orange and are set up in clusters of 3 seats running along the walls of the train and in between every 3 seat cluster is a pair of seats that segment the two clusters. The man in a dirty white t-shit and jeans was laying on across a 3 seat bench. He had a pretty thick scraggly beard and his eyes were open. staring across and probably slightly above by where his head was laying.

I felt an incredible sense of sadness when I saw him. It really hit me hard. Because it was the A train I didn't have many stops to wade through before reaching 14th and 8th avenue from 42nd street. He looked cold since he was hugging himself. In that moment I recalled that the weather is headed to fall and winter. I wondered where this man is going to be or doing to stay warm. I wanted to do something and all I did was get off the train where I would transfer to the L train.

I did nothing. I've been deceived by various people so I can use that as an excuse not to have helped that man but I'm not. I can also argue that one has to take care of themselves before taking care of others. I dunno. I'm just reflecting now.

I learned to despise the movie Pay It Forward but, the thing is that the message of movie had some worth to it. The whole idea of doing a good deed for someone and simply instructing them to go and do a good deed for someone else. I should have done that today.

Damn. Perhaps I'm learning that it is true that the best songs are the saddest songs. What inspires a sad song?

To be cliche, this is the world I know.

Streamlining Mi Vida

So I've begun to separate my CDs and booklets from the CD cases. I'm purging my room of all my CD cases. All CDs and booklets will be placed in large binders from now on. It makes me sad but to live in Brooklyn with a lot of stuff is damn near impossible unless I sell out and go into a higher paying career field where I can afford to pay 2,000 plus bucks in rent for an apartment.

Money is tight and tight money translates into tight living spaces. Damn all the out of state hipsters who have cause the rent to skyrocket. Damn.

Oh yeah, back to school!

First day back with the kids. Twas good. Twas interesting. Felt like a real teacher today like I'm now making the big bucks with multi million bucks contract. Listening to Dead Kennedys and Ramones tracks in the background. It was cool to see my DEAT kids. So weird... I advised them for two years and now they're juniors.

Someday this pain will be useful to you

Just finished reading the book that I wrote in the title. First work I'm reading by Peter Cameron. It was a nice pick up read but it seemed to not go anywhere. I've been told it's like The Catcher in the Rye but I no longer see Salinger's books as I once did. Rich kids that are not happy with their lives seems more like petty spoiled brats than insightful literary tales. It's just out there for me. It's just so cliche nowadays.

Lame = rich, white kids.

Don't get me wrong. The voice of the protagonist was smooth and the chapters draw you into the world and point of view of his novel but knowing it's about a wealthy Brown University bound 18 year old that lives in posh Manhattan seems too much of a stretch. I've been down this particular road.

Uh oh!

And so tomorrow I begin my fourth year of teaching. Fourth year!!! I'm astounded and blown away at this. Feels like yesterday was 2007 at Far Rock. Total fucking warzone of issues. They make dramatic high school themed movies with what I went through and now I stand at year four. Incredible. I'm stoked. I'm nervously trying to play this cool but... but...Mmmmmmh, ya see, it's year four. Back for tenure again.

Been a while...

It's been a while... Anyone remember that song by Staind? I enjoyed a few songs of their debut but then they went soft. Ah well.

Been sometime since I posted and truth be told, I'm only posting because I just put the battery back into my phone because it's acting up and I'm waiting for it to load up. I just looked at the screen right before starting this sentence.

New things in my life: desk, bed, dresser. Thank you Mmmeli

Back to work this coming Tuesday. Teaching 11th grade and a creative writing elective for seniors. Should be fun times.

I'm slightly paranoid and I got some spray to spray and hopefully the paranoia will cease and return to the storage warehouse in the recesses of my mind.

Pretty much it.

"We're Getting a Divorce, You Keep the Diner"

We were the magnificent dreamers.
In secret lamplight hideouts.
We swore the world couldn't break us,
Even when the world took us down.

So here I am struggling out in the mighty jungle,
Moving eighteen miles a minute, not slowing down for nothing.
I look to my left and I look to my right,
And I'm callin' out for my brothers
But it's so dark in this night, am I alone?

Did they fall down by the wayside?
Was I moving too blind to see them?
Were they calling out to me?
Or did Despair set in?

Were the things that we wanted when we were still sixteen,
Only passing and fleeting, or just too far out of reach?
Were you hard up or broken man, I woulda helped you out...
Were you numb and distracted when I was calling out?
I was calling out...

On a Sunday morning the whole crowd assembled,
I've done some things that I'm not too proud of...
I've never left you, a deaf ear for longing.
Some hearts are gallows, I'm not here for hangin' around.

It's all right, man.
I'm only bleeding, man.
Stay hungry, stay free,
And do the best you can.

I LOVE THIS SONG! Sang along to this last night. Great jam!

Gaslight Anthem at the Stone Pony

Lame title for this post but it's not about the title. It's about what's in the body. So let's do this.

So last night I saw The Gaslight Anthem play at the Stone Pony on the summer stage. The weather felt like remnants of the bullshit heat from the Faith No More show at the Williamsburg Waterfront in Brooklyn. Despite the bullshit heat and the stench of sweat and beer intermingling and the fact that we (my girlfriend who I affectionately and lovingly call mi Chula and I) got lost and missed the openers this was a damn good show. It's top 3 with no doubt whatsover.

Gaslight took the stage at 9 and opened with "American Slang" and played a nice mix of jams with slight focus on songs from The '59 Sound and American Slang records. Here's a link for their setlist: link, oh snap!

What else can I say? I love this band like I love The Clash except that The Clash are not my band. By the time I got onto The Clash they were disbanded and a memory for those that saw them rock in their day. They are band of an older generation and I feel that The Gaslight Anthem are my band because I've seen them rise to this level. Yes, I know I wasn't around when they played basements in New Jersey but I feel that their music, their lyrics are for my generation. I'm constantly thinking of the past and yearning for days of yesterday and a chance to relive my teenage years with the intent to try and fix a few things or to just relive them. Gaslight gives me that opportunity now that I reflect on it with an older gaze of maturity or I think it's maturity.

I love this band. Whenever I get married, I'll probably beg this band to play my wedding reception just because. Not to mention, this is a band that mi Chula and I both enjoy.

My only complaint is that they didn't play "I'da Called You Woody, Joe." Mi Chula was looking forward to it and was a bit bummed out.

Oh yeah, this was also my first time back to Asbury Park since the infamous New Jersey Metal and Hardcore Fest from 2003.

Ruminations of dread

Took the midterm for the class I'm enrolled in. C+. Not what I expected but I know of at least one person who failed it with a damn F. It's a grad class during the summer; an entire semester condensed into ten sessions (2.5 hours each) over five weeks. Goddamn. This professor is tough and vague at times. Not exactly the best combination. I have the final paper to write this weekend. I'm nervous about it. I just want to squeeze out with a B as a final grade and I'll be fine. That's all I want.

It's going to be a long weekend that will produce a 5-6 page paper on Ilan Stavans' On Borrowed Words memoir. I'm dreading it but it must be completed.

Onward even though parts of my body are begging to retreat, to change our direction and fight another day. There is no other day to fight. This is it. "Damn," they say with no attempt to hide their reluctance. Damn.

Return of the Brolic/Brawlic

So I finally made the trip to Frenchie's Gym off the Marcy Ave. train station in Williamsburg. I signed up for six months and got right to work. I'm approaching working out with the goal to lift and push less weight but by also increasing the number of reps. My triceps and pectoral muscles are feeling it right now.

About the gym now. The place is a living, breathing, sweating museum. Seriously. The equipment, most of it, is from another time but still gets the job done so one can't complain, unless, they are a prissy foreigner to New York City's blue collar neighborhoods. The walls are decorated with mirrors and above the mirrors an array of photos dating back to the 1970s when Williamsburg was a whole 'nother animal. What stood out to me were the Goldberg and Ultimate Warrior posters. There's no air conditionig system unless the wide open windows count. Regardless, there was a decent breeze coming through to prevent any kind air stagnation. The link at the beginning of this paragraph provides a much better breakdown of this relic. There's also clips on youtube that provide more insight into this, pardon the cliche, blast from the past, that has managed to survive the hipster invasion.

It's a gym that Rocky would work out in. It's also inexpensive. It's a place to work. Get brolic/brawlic!!!

Iron Maiden!

Whoa, I seriously can't believe I didn't post about this yet. Iron Maiden at Madison Square Garden on July 12th will be a date remembered. My brother and I saw Maiden rock out the Garden with some real jams.

They played Brave New World and later but they were great. To hear "Wicker Man" and "These Colors Don't Run" was incredible. I took a few shitty pictures and enjoyed every moment of it. More so because my brother got to see one of his favorite bands play. Makes me smile that that brings him happiness. My brother is a good kid and earned. He's paid his dues of listening to the bands that rock and in his room dreaming of rebellion, romance and rock 'n' roll dreams. And he still is.

Back to Iron Maiden.

The band rocked. Simply put. The band rocked out! I love that they played "Iron Maiden" and "Running Free." That I witnessed these performances is an incredible feeling knowing the group is approaching their mid-50s. It gets tough on the old rockers so who knows when they might call it a day. Kudos.

The highlight for this performance and me was seeing Janik Gers playing his axe on stage. It was fascinating to see him doing his spins, moves, kicks and showing off his licks when the other axe men were more tame. He was in his own world, in his happy place and he rocked hard because there's no better high. Seeing Gers just play was pretty cool. It reminds me of all the montages scene in School of Rock or any movie possessing this rock 'n' roll spirit where some people are just lost in the playing of their instruments. Immitating all the greats and their moves and being purely happy for just getting an opportunity to just artfully wail on an instrument.

While my guitar gently weeps. Not necessarily sad weeps but weeps of glory, pride, loss, strength, truimph, and with desire to simply live, to fly, to jump off a cliff into water, to experience the good and bad of love. The rock 'n' roll spirit.

Iron Maiden brought it to MSG on July 12th, 2010. I was there and it was wonderful. It's what the great perhaps, life, brings us. Glorious.

Idea

I need to start writing my experience and relationship with specific songs. You know, like, how I feel when I hear Molotov's version of "Bohemian Rhapsody?" That's an experience million and one because most everyone has heard Queen's version. It's epic and here comes a cover by some Spanish speaking sideshow of the always creative Molotov who are par KISS, part Rage Against the Machine, part hip-hop, ranchera and son forth. It's an experience.

I could go on and on with other songs like Bouncing Souls' "Manthem" or Survivor's "Eye of the Tiger." Boundless. Endless. Endless ideas.

Warped Tour 2010

Why did I even bother going? I gave 40 dollars and my entire Saturday to this and yet I feel like it was a waste. It was Warped Tour number 6 in a row and I'm really just going till I put in a decade's worth but with the lineup going the way it went this year then it's going to be a real mission getting to 10.

I went to see Andrew W.K. and he was entertaining but just the whole concept of Warped Tour is waning on me. Nine hours of music in July under the burning the sun doesn't quite appeal as much anymore especially when it's 50 something bands and less than 5 seem appealing.

Every Time I Die played but they don't play many good old jams. I wish they used their set to play Hot Damn! I'm sure they would have been able to squeeze it in the 30 minutes every band plays at Warped.

Next year will have to feature some significant bands to get me motivated or six will be the new 10.

Bullshit Heat Still.

This is still some bullshit heat here in Bushwick. I want some serious rain and a few weeks of 70 degree weather with a nice 10-15 mph winds.

Bullshit Heat

"This is some bullshit heat!"

Mike Patton from Faith No More stated that on Monday night when I saw, at the Williamsburg Waterfront, Faith No More perform for the first time. They broke up in 1998 and reunited sometime last year. Despite the heat, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. One of the best bands I have ever seen live. Trumps a lot of bands. As a result I think my top five is now 1. Iron Maiden (2003), 2. Kiss (2009), 3. Faith No More (2010), 4. Children of Bodom (2004)/Iced Earth (2008), 5. Sepultura (2003).

Of course, the list might change after I catch Iron Maiden this coming monday and then Kiss in August. Both bands for the second time.

Anyway, "this is some bullshit heat." It makes me perspire and not want to do anything. Getting dressed is a struggle. All I wanna do is lay in bed with the AC going and watching Hot Tub Time Machine and other dumb but enjoyable comedies. I also have to finish season 1 of Royal Pains.

Naturally, though, this heat is nothing compared to desert heat over in Iraq and wherever we have a large quantity of troops deployed. Heatwaves are not for me and this is why I never beg for summer to come even if I have July and August off (ah, the perks of being an educator).

Anyway, "this is some bullshit heat" that needs to go away. Hehe, I used the prior line two paragraphs above, hehe, I'm so totally awesome (nah, not really). It looks like rain and I hope it does rain. I hope it comes down and cools everything and everyone off. I hope it begins raining around 2 or so because I'm doing 3 loads of laundry and I would like to walk back to my apartment only dripping sweat.

Let's try this again.

Okay, let's try to revive this one more time.

Seeing Faith No More tomorrow. I'll be with la Chula. I will be the happiest man on the planet. So stoked!!!

http://wwwimage.cbsnews.com/images/2010/07/01/image6637309g.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPuSJeVOw7I&playnext_from=TL&videos=ZiEdTwumJQM&feature=rec-LGOUT-exp_fresh%2Bdiv-1r-10-HM

Books.

Finished reading Bad Boy by Diane Wieler. Another YA book I took out from my school's library. I guess, I gotta keep up to date with what my kids might possibly read. It was a good book with a focus on hockey and the strain a friend's secret can put on a friendship.

Now I'm reading Hurricane Song by Paul Volponi. It's interesting so far. The narration is sparse and quick to the point. The central characters are clearly African-American only because of side comments from the focused narration. Otherwise, the cultural background could be any that exists.

I'm also reading Experience and Education by John Dewey for a graduate class. (I have paper due in 2 weeks! What the hell? It is an accelerated course that meets 11 times in a span of five weeks.) It's quite the slim volume but the highly educated verbose jargon is ever present. The first 3 pages of the first chapter were intense but then the second 3 pages dragged and lost the powering steam the first 3 built up.

I guess the shift of the blog is to push it into maintaining a record of the books I read since I read a lot for grad school, for my job and for fun when I get a chance.

Something to think about.

Question: If you could speak to your 15 year old self for only 15 seconds what would you say?

Tough question.

It is. I been thinking about it for a few days already. It's thought in progress.

I can think of a few things I could tell myself but that's simple things like watch what I eat, never buy a Limp Bizkit CD, save my money, don't go to Plainview on a random summer saturday night, avoid that smoking phase and so on.

These things above are cool and all but not sure they're significant in terms of life-altering or world-altering. Maybe I would tell myself, "To make sure I see PanterA before Dimebag gets his brains blown out by some psycho with no permission. " This or preventing the murder all together could change the world plays out it's life. I could become president!

I need to think about this more.

Epiphany.

No, not the Bad Religion song that solidified my love for the band.

Tonight, in class, I learned that I consume to waste. I buy an iPod and the purchase tells one that I am going to buy another iPod in the future. Since I got my first iPod, I have never regressed back to a CD player. Buying one iPod tells Apple that I am investing in the iPod. I will buy the latest ipod because the current one is now obsolete. It's startling to think about it. I have had an iPod Mini, A Classic iPod, then 160GB iPod and now the current 120GB. My kid brother just bought an iPod touch (32GB one I think). And returning to me, I now have the desire to buy an iPod touch.

I've sold my soul, wallet and my whole being to Apple.

Fuckin' epiphany.

Transformers.

The 80s movie was incredible.

Literature

All the good lit seems to be incredibly depressing in some way.

Every book I've taught my ninth grade has ended on some sour, sad, tragic, what you will note. I'm just teaching what the ninth grade curriculum is telling me. Damn.

Hey

I need to come by 'round here more.

Do not be afraid to succeed. Yeah.

HEYYYYYYY

DFL. I'm down.

SNS. I'm down.

RCP. I'm down.

I'm down for life with it all.

Replacements

Replaced my tiny, gray 11 inch TV today. It's a bit sad since that TV served me well during college and even after college until Saturday night when I brought home a 40 inch LCD HDTV or whatever they are exactly called.

My dresser is up next and that dresser has been with me since age 3. It's sad and has serviced me well... this is the inanimate object version of forcing someone who loves doing something to retire. The dresser remains serviceable the time has arrived. Quite sad.

Desk is on the chopping block too but time remains.

Beginning of the End

Last wednesday at 32 Lawton Street. Next Wednesday I'll be at 166 Harman Street.

The times are a-changing!

Changes

First off, I should be working on my lessons for the week and my journal entry due for Tuesday's class. I should also be reading the 34 pages and the article I have to get done for tomorrow's class. Yep, my second ever graduate school semester is entering it's second week of classes.

What did I do today if I didn't do my readings? I packed boxes and went to my new apartment. I swept, mopped, and cleaned the kitchen and bathrooms. All without electricity! Oh yeah!

La Chula then packed all my DVDs and 87 percent of my books into boxes. The room looks half bare and right in the middle are too boxes; one of which is filled the books. The empty one will get filled up before the week is out.

I'm just glad the grad classes have it reached full speed and dominated my life yet. Let's hope this move continues being smooth.

Yo teach!

I'm a teacher. Hmmmmmm, wow.

Roy Orbison

"In Dreams"

Yes.

SMASH!

Not feeling too hot right now. I feel like running headfirst into traffic just to see what it's like. I've always been curious about this act since hearing the Pantera song, "Uplift" in which Phil snarls, "Run headfirst into traffic..." It just makes we want to do it just see what happens.

Chicago AOL Nostalgia

Thinking about the good ol' days when my parents first bought me a Compac laptop also brought back memories of a particular Polish girl who called Chicago home. Our instant messaging exchange began when I was 16 or 17 and AOL was the HUGE thing. I would sing in under my CubedTuna52 screenname and enter chatrooms to talk smack and whatnot. Most of the time I would go into a Britney Spears chatroom and unleash a barrage of death metal lyrics in their awesome grotesqueness.

Anyway, I met this girl in one of the rock themed chatrooms and we developed a pretty cool exchange over a period of months. She was pretty cool and played a key role in my exploration and development of punk rock music. I had just started listening to Bad Religion, The Living End, Anti-Flag (who she suggested) and a slew of other bands. It was a good time.

So, why am I bringing all this up?

I was walking to work this morning and listening to Biohazard's Urban Discipline and it just brought back some cool memories the one about this Polish punk rock girl from Chicago in particular. The madness behind all this is that I've been listening to older music more and more in the past few weeks. New or fairly new music just doesn't have any "umph" that would make me engage or embrace it the way I latched onto Bad Religion's The Process of Belief or No Control or even The Living End's Roll On. Hell, I even had a fondness for Anti-Flag's New Kind of Army and I reflect on this particular band I wonder why I enjoyed them or possess five of their albums. Five!

Heck, I blame the superliberal students of New Paltz and Anti-Flag for my reluctance to admit I am a democrat or have liberal thinking thoughts. Thinking about all this makes me want to run and hang out with Sarah Palin but then I remember who Sarah Palin is and frankly one of her most memorable accomplishments is being the muse for porno's that depict her as a sex crazed sex fiend.

Oh, nostalgia, look at what you have done.

Do it again, please.

Moves

In transition right now. Looking for a new place to call home. I have some prospects lined up... hope one works out. Today's wasn't too bad... too small a closet. Damn.

It's a Heavy Metal Kind of Night

Indeed it is. It's a heavy metal kind of night.

I really love metal.

BABOOM!

The Offspring. Yes. A good band.

Love their cover of "Smash It Up." To be enjoyed.

That was fast.

The doodee sure hit the fan today. Damn. Can't say anything right now but that was unexpected. Damn. Holy fuckin' shit. I can't believe it. Damn.